My name is Samantha. To some it’s a pretty name, to me it sounds a little bit pretentious. I hate it when people call me by my first name because they seem like they’re angry with me. People at work call me Samantha because they have no choice—they can’t call me Sam because there was already another lady named Sam. That I can deal with; they have no choice. But I would freak out if my friends called me Samantha.

Case in point, CV usually calls me ‘baby’ or ‘bebeh’. Sometimes, ‘beautiful’. Other times, he would annoy me by attempting to catch my attention by calling me by either Samantha or Sam. I would ignore him until he reverted back to pet names.

He would ask, “What do you want me to call you then?”

And I’d say, “Anything but my name.”

One night, he asked again. “What do you want me call you? …Frog?”

WTF? He pointed to what I was wearing. I had on my XXXL fleece pj bottoms, the one that looks like it could fit three of me in one pant leg. It was blue and had green frogs printed all over it.

Now and then at work, he’d pass by me and call me Frog. Sometimes, I’d beat him to it and say, “You look like a frog.”

And that’s the story for today.

Ricky decided to leave his 3.2-inch knife and his Netflix account logged in on my laptop because apparently, I need something to protect myself and he knows I don’t want to pay for my Netflix. So sweet of him.

1 - Who was the last person you texted?

Nick.

2 - When is your birthday?

112888.

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A: Who do you like and Why?
I like two people for reasons even I cannot fathom.

B: Have you ever been in love? If yes, how many times, and how do you know it was love?
Once. Still am. I just know.

C: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in, and why did it end?
Official relationship, three weeks. He was moving to another country. It was too much pressure for us.

D: Have you ever changed for someone, if yes, how?
I think it’s only natural that you try to be what the person you like is, but not completely. When I change, it’s because I see something nice in the person I’m with, and I want that in me.

E: Pretend I’m your ex, what do you want to say to me?
I’m glad you’re happy.

F: Have you ever been cheated on?
Yes.

G: Have you ever cheated?
No. I would never.

H: Would you date someone who’s known for cheating, if yes why?
I wouldn’t. I’ve been cheated on so many times. I try not to let it happen again. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

I: What’s the most important part of a relationship?
Trust and love.

J: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
I do miss being in a serious relationship.

K: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”?
No. Breaks can lead to cracks, and I’ll be damned if I let that happen.

L: How many people have you ever hooked up with?
Well…

M: What’s one thing you regret saying or not saying, doing or not doing in a previous relationship?
I regret nothing.

N: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?
When they’re mature enough to deal with all the consequences—emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual…everything.

O: Do you believe in the phrase, “Age is just a number?” Why or why not?
Kinda. I’ve been with guys both younger and older than me. I know one younger guy who acts and thinks more maturely than the older one. It’s all about experience.

P: What about “Love at first sight”? Why or why not?
Lust at first sight, maybe.

Q: Turn on’s?
A perverse sense of humor with intelligence to back it up. Must love Star Wars. Must not be homophobic. And my type: “skinny and gay-looking”.

R: Turn off’s?
Too flirtatious…with other girls. Too busy to do anything. Can’t make the first move.

S: What do you consider a deal breaker?
It used to be “has kids”, but I pretty much shit on that.

T: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship?
When there’s no spark anymore.

U: Are you currently in a relationship? If yes, for how long? If no, how long have you been single?
No.

V: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?
I’ve stayed friends with my exes, because I know how to move on and let go. I can’t say the same for others.

W: Do you think people should date their friends?
If the friendship is too precious, I would not date. I do not want to risk destroying that friendship over sex.

X: How many relationships have you had?
Not a lot that really counted.

Y: Do you think love can last forever?
I really don’t know.

Z: Do you believe love can conquer all things?
No.

1: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of?
No. I’d let the relationship take its course. If my parents were right, then it won’t last. But I will need to learn that myself.

2: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?
Sex will not win their love.

3: Do you think long distance relationships can work? Why or why not?
No. Tried it.

4: What do you notice first about another person?
Face.

5: Do gay, lesbians, bisexuals or transgender people bother you?
Not at all. My roommate and majority of my friends are gay, and I love every one of them.

It slightly shames me to say that in my 23 years of existence, I am kinda clueless about who/what Jews are. So last Tuesday at The Glass Turtle, while I was drunk off of a Black Superman and R was stoned as fuck, I dragged him into a conversation about religion.

I asked him to explain to me what a Jew is.

And he put it quite simply. “Jews believe in Christianity, but not in Jesus’ divinity.” Couldn’t have put it in better words for a drunk mind.

He called me around 2 am. He was drunk, on his way home from the club. He asked if I wanted to come over.

I did.

When I got to his place, he was too tired and too drunk. Meanwhile, I was getting blue balls…if I had balls. In my frustration, I got out of bed and attempted to look for my purse so I could play with my phone. He thought I was leaving.

For a second, I thought about doing just that. But it was so adorable when he asked, “Where you going? Where are you going? I just wanna cuddle.”

He never says those things. He never cuddles because “that’s how you get attached”. But I crawled back into bed anyway. For the first time ever, in over a year that we’ve known each other, we cuddled until we fell asleep.

And was ashamed to admit it.

For those of you who don’t know, I love Denny’s. I think this stemmed from having watched Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. That movie makes me hungry just thinking about it. And because there are no White Castles in CA, my mind has inexplicably replaced it with Denny’s. I live right by one…

So anyway, I’m still getting back from the sick people’s train. I was bed-ridden half of yesterday, and felt like shit because 1) I was home alone, 2) no one likes being sick, 3) I was dogsitting the most needy, hyperactive dog in the universe, and 4) I was on meds and that got me slightly depressed.

N decided to cheer me up by bringing me something from Denny’s, which was perfect because I hadn’t eaten anything all day. So while I scarfed it down, we watched Return of the Jedi.

Just when I think he’s uncaring, he surprises me with things like these. =]

I was searching for photos of Maidu Park (Roseville) on Google, and I came upon this:

I wanted to cry so bad. That is the exact same bench that Ricky and I sat on when he took me on a date there. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was telling him about all the weird Filipino delicacies I’d tried. I told him how sexy Rihanna’s eyes were, and how I find green eyes to be awesome. Then he gave me a mischievous smile, and I asked him to take his sunglasses off so I can look at his eyes since I had never seen them in daylight. They were green.

Then the strange birds had to chirp. They sounded robotic. And while I was looking for the source of the sound, I told him that the place reminded me of the hills back home. Moment of silence.

And then he simply turned my head to face him, and leaned in for a kiss.

My heart is fluttering right now as I think back to that moment. That day will always be etched in my memory and in my heart. If I were asked to go back in the past and relive a day, I would choose it. I wouldn’t choose any other day—not the one when I had sex for the first time, not the one when I got together with my ex-boyfriend, not even the one in Disneyland. June 15, 2010 is that one event in my life that will always pull me in.